Homesickness, loneliness, alienation
A few words that come to mind when you first hear the words 'solo travel.' That is, at least, if you haven’t yet traveled alone. Those of you that have, understand the exact phenomenon I have began to describe: the nature of being alone together.
The Nature of Being Alone Together, or the ways in which strangers become friends in seconds, is a peculiar circumstance that reduces the time it takes to deconstruct interpersonal barriers from months (and in some cases, years) to minutes. How does one simply let down the defenses that shield her from even the most imperceptible threats? How does one safely let down her guard in a hostel full of strangers that occupy her shared, co-ed dorm?
The short answer is: vulnerability. Vulnerability fuels human connection, and when you're traveling solo you are nothing but vulnerable, whether you want to admit it or not.
When you’re vulnerable, feelings of intimacy, trust, and closeness are cultivated at an incredible rate as you subconsciously depend on others for internal and external security. Whether that security be social (familiar face at a party) or primal (survival), our instincts seek and ultimately rely on someone ‘safe’ with whom we can connect when faced with situations that make us insecure.
Psychological safety, or the feeling or being safe, increases while in the company of others as the risk of threat (serious or benign) decreases when compared to being alone.
Because most of us are used to feeling safe in our domestic environments, the need to establish trust, closeness and mutual security, in effort to navigate new surroundings with greater ease, doesn't exist the way it does when we check into that (sketchy) hostel planted in a city with less-than-friendly locals.
That is why when we meet our first 'friend' or 'safe person' with whom we share some similarity, we feel instantly connected and, in truth, relieved. A simple commonality like where we're from can spark the following exchange that might land us a new travel companion for the next few days or weeks. How exciting!
'You're from the United States? I'm from the United States! ...Want to be friends?!'
And voila! There you have it. Your brand new travel companion who you're likely to make great memories with might turn into a friendship that transcends distance once you guys finally come to part.
The closeness you develop when relying on a person as your newfound source of familiarity, makes instant a bond that has potential to last a lifetime.
These factors that contribute to the rate with which strangers grow close, a process that otherwise takes very long, shortens the time it takes to form meaningful relationships when you're partnering through new experiences together.
Whether you're trying to navigate a city's metro or scuttle back to your hostel after a long night out, the most impossible missions turn into memorable adventures when paired with good company.
While we set out on these journeys alone, some of the most special moments are created (and honestly, better made) with others.
To any of the strangers-turned-friends that I met along my trip who are currently reading this: Thank you for helping me create some truly incredible memories.
To those of you interested in learning more about those memories/adventures, look out for future posts!
Enjoy the slideshow below :)
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